Thursday, April 24, 2008

Meet the Montgomeries

Best wishes to the often churlish Scot, Colin Montgomerie who swapped “I do’s” with Gaynor Knowles, widow of the late British furniture tycoon George Knowles last weekend. It is the second marriage for both and probably a relief to Monty who has been linked with many women in the UK since his divorce from his wife of 14-years, Eimear.

Reports have it that the nuptials took place at Loch Lomond Golf Club. The unusually tight security necessitated that the club and all facilities to be closed for the five days preceding the ceremony. This did not sit very well with the locals who were prevented from playing the course.

The invitation list read like a Who’s Who. RSVPs were received from Prince Charles, his brother Andrew the Duke of York, actor Hugh Grant and British rocker Robbie Williams promised to make his first live appearance in a couple of years at the reception. The only problem was none of them showed.

Hey, who needs them when Monty’s legion of friends on the European PGA Tour would fill the seats? Not so much. The only players who showed were those who are indentured to IMG who also manhandle Monty. There is a bit of irony there. When Monty finished up at Houston Baptist College, he wanted to work for IMG as an agent and decided he’d play until an opening came up. The rest, as they say, is history.

According to British tabloid reports, the wedding was very stylish featuring an off white, full length bejeweled dress and that Monty looked elegant in it. Just kidding, I couldn’t escape the Mrs. Doubtfire reference. That was Gaynor’s elegance. But not one to disappoint, Monty did wear a kilt made of the Montgomerie tartan (you can make your own Mrs. Doubtfire joke now).

The tab for the day reportedly topped the million dollar mark and was capped by a $20,000 fireworks display over the water. (I often question the wisdom of introducing a fireworks display into a marriage at anytime because they usually show up on their own at sometime or other.)

Actually, the best wishes are sincere. From Monday through Wednesday, Colin is a great guy. He’s somewhat witty, intelligent and if not outright friendly, he’s accommodating. Thursday through Sunday more often than not he can be a horse’s butt and that’s with all due apology to the horse. It’s a shame that the public only sees the Thursday through Sunday Monty, because there is a lot more.

This union may lead to a large cutback in Monty’s future playing schedule. He credits his divorce to his overloaded schedule and wrote in his biography that “Perhaps I would have been better off making half the money and spending double the time at home.”

We’ll see how all this works out. The new Mrs. Monty, a non-golfer by the way, brings four children to the dinner table to join Monty’s (he has custody) three. He has already promised to play nine weeks in a row in an effort to make the Ryder Cup team. HELLOOO! Read your own book Monty. She has $40 million, you have enough that you had to shell out $30 million to Eimear and you have to have something left. Smell the roses. Here’s hoping that you at least left the clubs home during the honeymoon. Scratch that last one. I took mine on my honeymoon, but only played once. Ahhh no, I’m not still married.

Fittingly, as Monty was tying the knot in Scotland his new buddy Boo Weekley was successfully defending his crown at the Verizon Heritage Classic on Hilton Head Island, S.C.
“Monty’s new buddy Boo Weekley?” you ask. That would be like biting an apple and having it taste like an orange, or Timmie Finchem being asked to be an usher at Greg Norman’s wedding. It doesn’t make sense.

The fact is, Monty is a big fan of the pride of Milton, Fla. Paired with Boo at an event late last season, Monty marveled at Boo’s demeanor saying his attitude on the course is perfect. He doesn’t get caught up on the last shot and is looking forward to hitting the next one. Monty also wished he could be more like that. Fat chance!
You’ve got to love Boo. Currently, he’s living in a single wide trailer on blocks and has for a while. His reasoning is perfect Boo. It has everything he and his wife need and they don’t have to walk very far to get anything.

However, he’s now in the process of having a house built. When asked if he would put his latest trophy in a case in the house, he said “Probably, but for the time being it might go in the barn for a while because there isn’t room in the trailer.”
Boo is who he is, when asked why he thinks people seem to gravitate to him, he says, “Well sir (it’s always sir or ma’am) I think it’s the name Boo because I don’t think people would think there’s anything special about Thomas Weekley.”
He’s so real and down to earth that he played with his mother in the Pro Am last week. I’d venture a guess that never occurred to any of the more “polished” players. Boo is Larry the Cable Guy in a micro fiber golf shirt. Monty thinks he’s a quality guy and if he’s good enough for Monty, well he damn well is good enough for everyone else.

Bartender, please send a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue to the Montgomerie’s table and remind the Mrs. that she’ll need nothing less than doubles when she’s with Colin between Thursday and Sunday. While you’re at it, how about a couple of cans of Natty Light for Boo and I?
See you on the first tee.

Jack

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