Friday, October 26, 2007

The Wonderful World of the Wies

You know what the best thing about the off season is going to be? We won’t have any new episodes of “The Wonderful World of the Wies.” This reality program is wrapping up its fifth season on our golf radar.

“The Wonderful World of the Wies” has taken us from watching with amazement as an absolutely phenomenal golf talent named Michelle has been misled to the point of abuse by dominating, meddlesome and manipulating parents. She went from almost making the cut in PGA Tour events and challenging in LPGA majors to a very amateurish 76.6 scoring average at the age of 18.

Like any successful TV show, the final 2007 episode will leave us hanging until the new season. In the finale, Michelle’s business manager Greg Nared left team Wie making it two managers in two years who couldn’t stand the situation. Teaching guru David Leadbetter hinted he might be next when he was quoted as saying, “it’s like rats leaving a sinking ship.”

Ostensibly, the now 18-year old Michelle is off to Stanford to live the life of a college freshman (you know, a real person). Then, in a twisted bit of intrigue, Mom and Dad leave Hawaii (much to the delight of many islanders) and move very close to Michelle’s Palo Alto, CA dorm. Just when you thought the young phenom was going to escape their clutches—THEY’RE BACK!

Now that the Sopranos are off the air, is their any doubt that “The Wonderful World of the Wies” is a mortal lock for multiple Emmys?

News Flash! Greg Norman takes over as Chairman of the Board of MacGregor. After making a sizeable investment in the company to become a large minority owner, Norman engineered a parlay of investors to run former CEO and 51 percent owner, Barry Schneider out of the company. They relieved him of his CEO duties and recently issued a statement that Schneider had left the company to “spend more time with his family and pursue other challenges.” Don’t you just love corporate America? Let’s lay some guilt on the kids for the old man being canned.

Norman refers to this coup as the biggest business deal of his life. That’s mind-boggling when you consider he recently signed over $250 million and a couple of houses in his divorce settlement. As one wag once said, “Why does a divorce cost so much? Because it’s worth it.” In this case it may be. The jury is definitely out on the MacGregor deal.

Just a suggestion, but it might be prudent for the company to lock the doors on their Albany, GA—based company on Sundays. The Chairman has made a few poor decisions on the Lord’s Day, if you know what I mean.

Who is the one person who can bring the Ryder Cup back to our shores? It’s Nick Faldo of course.

Faldo has done yeoman duty in trying to bury the “Nasty Nick” image. His TV work is tremendous, but once he drops his guard, the nastiness comes coursing back.

While captaining the Seve Cup on the European Tour, Faldo called out team member Colin Montgomerie for missing team meetings and said that the often churlish Scot had to be prodded to join his victorious teammates in celebration. Faldo took it one step farther and said that Monty is not a team player.

Hey Nick! In the first paragraph of Golf Team Captain 101, it says don’t piss off your best player. You made the US team’s day. For his entire Ryder Cup career, Monty has transformed himself from a hefty Clark Kent into a chubby Superman every other September. Monty—not you has been the backbone of the Euro’s success. Let’s hope the Earl of Surl festers over these remarks for the next year.

Of course, we could almost see this coming. Paul McGinley, who Faldo had hand picked to be his assistant, quit him in July without public explanation. Keep it up Nick.

Bartender, let me know if Norman expands his Scottish named empire and purchases a Scotch whiskey distillery. Climb up to that top shelf and get me a dram of Malvenie to toast the impending US Ryder Cup victory.

See you on the first tee.


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