Presidents Cup = Ryder Cup Lite

A post mortem about the Presidents Cup. Folks, it’s still Ryder Cup Lite. If the Ryder Cup is the Oscars, the Presidents Cup is the Golden Globe Awards. It’s pretty much a made-for-television event invented by the PGA Tour to showcase the globalization of the game as well as the dominance of the PGA Tour. (Well, the Euros aren’t invited, are they?)

Think about it, the two biggest stories out of the PC were Woody Austin taking a dive on the 14th hole and actually having a lot of fun with it. Trust me, if this was to take place next year at Valhalla there wouldn’t be as much as a grin and if he showed up the next day wearing a diving mask, we’d NEVER hear the end of it. However, at the good ole pc PC there’s grins and giggles.

This is not to disparage Austin’s play, or contributions to the winning effort. He played very well and even better at times. Yet, there are those who are publicly stating that Ryder Cup captain Paul Azinger will have a tough time not making sure that Austin is a member of next year’s squad. HUH?

Beyond, Tiger, Phil and Furyk, is anyone ready to concede a spot to anyone? If Woody gets there, it will be because he earned it NEXT YEAR, not this year. Methinks some people who should know better got a little too friendly with the Labatts and Molson while in Montreal.
The other big story was Mike Weir battling Tiger in their final round singles match. A doff of the fedora to Weir for his tremendous effort. Not only did he take a lead, but he lost it and then regained it to win the match.

Taking great risk of sounding derogatory in regards to Weir, if this match had occurred next September in the Ryder Cup and Tiger’s opponent was, oh let’s say Padraig Harrington, Darren Clarke or even Sergio Garcia (forget that, Sergio would have wilted on his own) that comeback never happens. Now that I reread it, that is a tad derogatory. Sorry Mike.

The nabobs of Augusta National have issued their changes to the course for the 2008 event.
Four holes have been altered in what seems to be an uncharacteristic softening of the fabled course. According to Masters Chairman Billy Payne the holes that have been changed are the 1st, 7th, 9th and 11th.

They’ve added 10-yards onto the front of the first tee. This will be critical if there’s a strong northeast wind. That yawning cavern of a bunker on the right side of the fairway is impossible to carry from the addition they added to the back a few years ago. They also eliminated some of that addition to give the, ahem, patrons more room to move.

They claim that it’s for agronomical reasons that they added six feet to the left side of the seventh green. The truth is that with the lengthening of the hole a few years ago coupled with a fairway so narrow that it takes the driver out of many hands, the green didn’t fit the hole. They’ve now added two or three new pin placements which the green needed.

Again citing agronomical reasons, they soften the right hand pin positions on the first and middle tiers of the ninth green. In the early 1980s, I saw Lee Trevino at the back right of the ninth green during a practice round. We were talking about the course and he asked do you know what’s wrong with this place? I’ll show you. He reached in his bag and got three balls. He placed them where he stood, took his putter and barely got the three rolling. He then turned and walked to the club house. The balls stopped 85-yards down the fairway.

The last change they made was to remove more trees from the left side of the 11th fairway. The stated reason is better sight lines for the patrons. Well, it has to help in that area, but historically the preferred way to play the hole is to the extreme right side. In fact, Ben Hogan used to say that if he hit the 11th green, he’d pulled the shot—badly. Now, the combatants might be able to use a little more of the traditional strategy. That is if any 500-yard-plus par 4 has a traditional strategy.

One final note. A quick perusal of www.pgatour.com revealed a story about Maria Hjorth denying Lorena Ochoa’s bid fourth a fourth straight win. Stories about the LPGA have shown up a little more frequently on this Web site.

I’m not saying this will happen, but it wouldn’t be a surprise either. Wouldn’t it make sense for the PGA Tour to take over the running of the tournaments from the LPGA? It would be a tremendous aid to the ladies organization. They would move from often scurrying to fill their tournament schedule to being under the umbrella of the most successful golf tournament organization in the world. The noted LPGA teaching program could be under the wing of the PGA of America bringing new, higher standards to that end of the industry.

Sorry, but I can’t let this idea go. It would be easier if former LPGA commissioner Ty Votaw did take a position as a special assistant to PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem.
Ah, as the golf season winds down, bartender pour me a LSD, that’s Lone Star Draught, a reasonable Texas brew. Maybe it will spark some interest in this week’s Valero Texas Open, but I doubt it.

See you on the first tee.

Jack

Drugs 'rampant' on Tour ...

The leading golf organizations around the world have come together to pat each other on the back and congratulate each other on how they’re going to deal with the “rampant” drug problems that have infested the game.

The obvious question is what drug problem? Well, in uncharacteristic foresight, the global golf organizations are trying to keep the problem at bay and are being proactive. To alert the world, these organizations sent out a global press release expounding the policy’s virtue. However, reading this release a second time a few questions popped off the page.

The R&A will be a signatory for The Open Championship. The USGA signed off for the U.S. Open, the U.S. Women’s Open and the U.S. Senior Open. What this says is, if you want to juice and play for the U.S. or British Amateur Championship just shoot away. If you want to bulk up for the U.S. Mid-Amateur Championship—go right ahead. Don’t worry about the British Mid; they just did away with the event. Doesn’t this sound a bit strange?

In the list of signatories which included just about every major tour around the world from Asia, to South Africa, to Central America and even up to the Augusta National Golf Club (you know they signed on so they could be listed first alphabetically), there was one Tour missing.

You probably wouldn’t have noticed this if the Solheim Cup hadn’t just concluded, but the Ladies European Tour didn’t scribble their “Jean Hancock” on this grand plan. Why? Has Laura Davies done some HGH? Hmmm. Why didn’t they sign on? It’s one of those things where if you sign on it means significantly less than if you don’t.

Trust me on this, the last thing any Tour commissioner wants to know is that one of his/her players is taking performance-enhancing drugs. The cover-up would be of legendary proportions. What this policy does is make people think about the possibilities. Tiger’s buffed…or is he really? David Duval bulked up and then lost his game…what’s up with that? How did that happen? Public relations-wise, the signatories may have opened a Pandora’s Box that they won’t be able to close if something breaks.

With this policy in place, golf fans won’t be able to look at a well-conditioned golfer and not wonder if? Recently, Woods called for serious consequences for anyone testing positive. He should be careful what he hopes for; that could turn the policy into a witch-hunt.

A look at the list of banned substances is interesting. There’s the usual anabolic agents, hormones, agents with anti-estrogenic activity, diuretics and other masking agents, stimulants, narcotics, cannabinoids, beta-blockers enhancement of oxygen transfer, chemical and physical manipulation and possibly glucocorticosteroids and beta-2 antagonists.

While all of this might be more than you can comprehend and I suggest that that means most of us, I will say this. Many of these drugs are found in over-the-counter products. The global golf world has an opportunity to bring some sanity to the “Drug Hunt.” If it’s over the counter and it helps relieve a symptom let them take it. Professional golfers have coughs, colds, allergies and probably more aches and pains than the civilian does. Give them the same opportunity to access over the counter products.

One item on the list jogged the memory a bit. A couple of decades ago, Mac O’Grady (nee Phillip Gleno) charged that a lot of his PGA Tour colleagues were taking Beta-Blockers to calm their nerves so they could putt better. To a man, golfers denied their existence. If they never existed, why are they now popping up on the banned list?

I’ve got to believe that there was a collective sigh of relief from some members of the Champions Tour and European Senior Tour. Nowhere on the list of banned substances was sildenafil citrate or tadalafil—and they’re prescription drugs. Er, you might know them better as Viagra and Cialis.

In fact, it was one of those personal drugs that got an assistant NFL coach suspended for five games and fined half his annual salary. All he wanted to do was overcome a side effect of medicine he was taking for diabetes—thus the reputation of the NFL being the “No Fun League” was perpetuated and reason was left by the wayside.

A global doping policy? I don’t know. You’re dealing with a lot of different cultures. An herbal tea with some scraping from a native root might be just a cup of tea, but its chemical reaction may set off the alarm.

I think its fine to have a policy in place, but it’s wiser to have common sense. Let the system exist without a trigger for a witch-hunt. The integrity of the game will still be preserved.
Hey bartender, a wassail of honey meade if you will. I didn’t see fermented bee byproducts on the list of banned substances.

See you on the first tee!

Cheers,

Jack

I'm going on the Tour!

I can rest easy now. My application for PGA Tour School has just arrived via e-mail. Watch out Phil and move over Tiger. I’m going to apply under a different name this year (it has something to do with the “noncompetitive performance” clause in the application). I’ve found the secret to the game I’m ready. I’ve always been a UPS guy, but for a $10 million annuity. I’m there. I’ll be wearing the Fed Ex Cup by the end of next year. If you see the name Lance Schmidlap climbing the leader board on a weekly (or is that weakly) basis—that would be me.

Let’s look back at what the inaugural Fed Ex Cup did or didn’t deliver.
OK, Tiger won it. If he didn’t PGA Tour Czar Tim Finchem might have had a stroke. Steve Stricker made it interesting for awhile, but wasn’t so close as to be considered a serious threat to Woods’ ascension to the throne.

Golf fans everywhere got to see what they’ve clamored for—a head-to-head clash between Woods and Mickelson in the last round of the Deutsche Bank Championship. It was the best non-major drama on the tube for years and it came at the right time. The week before at the Barclays Championship without Tiger in the field, the TV ratings were surpassed by the broadcast of the Little League World Series on ESPN.

Phil and Tiger were paired on Sunday with Hefty leading Tiger by one stroke. Everyone and I mean EVERYONE looked for a meltdown from Mickelson and they got it on the 12th hole when he made an unforced error that led to a double bogey. Let’s face it, in the past this could have led to golf’s version of projectile vomiting. This time, it didn’t. The southpaw rallied for pars on the next three holes. Then, the moment of truth arrived.

On the short par 3 - 16th, Tiger hit a shot that stopped in the 12-foot range. The camera shifted to Phil and for the briefest of moments, the old Mickelson appeared. There was the old “I think I’m going to be sick and I’d rather be anywhere else right now” look on his face. He then rifles a shot to eight-feet below the hole and his face was awash in a visage of confidence. Tiger made his birdie and Phil didn’t hesitate in canning his. He had taken everything Woods could fire at him, repelled it and answered with brilliance of his own. It was the highlight of this entire silly dalliance into the NASCAR system of scoring.

Of course, Hefty had to screw it up a bit. He used the quick post-round TV interview to tell the world that rather than chase this newly-nominated Holy Grail, he was going home to be with the family instead of continuing his quest. It didn’t quite ring true, particularly after he chided Woods about skipping the Barclays and theories abounded about him and Timmie having a spat. Naturally, this opened the gates for Woods and he cruised to victories in the last two events, proving yet again, when he comes to play, just stand aside.

This spotlighted a major flaw in this grand plan. Arguably the top three players in the world, Woods, Mickelson and Ernie Els skipped an event in the final four. Two (Els and Mickelson) wanted to be with their families while Woods was just plain tired. Trust me on this, the next people who will claim exhaustion will be the tournament sponsors of these events who are spurned by one, two, or all three of these stars. They’ll be tired of putting up a $7 million purse and not having it make enough of an impression to lure the three they really want in the field.

There are other problems as well. Do you really understand the playoff system? Do the players? You don’t and not many of the players do. Professional golf has had a tried and true system to identify the best players. It’s called the Money List, or on every other professional Tour in the world; the Order of Merit. It was quite simple actually. You won $5 this week and Joe Pro wins $10, he’s $5 ahead of you on the money list—end of story. Now, we’ve got Fed Ex points that are accrued throughout the season until the four-tournament “Chase for the Cup.”

Then, the top 144 are seeded by their “point totals” and reassigned a point total that could mean a sizeable reduction of the lead you had going into “The Chase.” Fair? I think not. It’s not fair because a player’s entire body of work for a season is discounted and reduced in some cases to one or two points, hardly reflecting the tens of thousands of dollars lead he had on his closest pursuer entering the final four. In some cases, it’s even worse.

Under the Money List system, David Toms would have made the field in the Tour Championship. However, he finished 32nd on the Fed Ex Cup point list due mostly to a balky back that influenced his missing the cut at the Barclays and withdrawing from the Deutsche Bank. (OK, I chose Toms because I had him in a preseason drawn Fantasy League and finished in the last payoff spot because he wasn’t in the Tour Championship). If anyone has a gripe, it’s Toms—or me.

Oh well, the first Fed Ex Cup has been put to bed. While it was flawed, it also had some excitement. On TV, it was buried by the NFL and college football on the weekends. That was to be expected, but the Little League World Series?

You’ve got to think that the scoring system has to be tweaked, yet I don’t see anyway to do it that will compel the Big Three to make a four-week commitment. Next year, the scheduling has to be changed because of the Ryder Cup which should be very interesting. The jury is definitely out, but you can count on the PGA Tour to unmercifully ram the Fed Ex Cup down our throats again next year.

Bartender, pour me another and please make it a double Balvenie 12-year old single malt Scotch. I need something to soothe the scrapes in my throat caused by the forced insertion of that damned Cup a little swing oil for Q School.

See you on the first tee.

FedEx Cup playoffs

The FedEx Cup playoffs (better known as the Tiger Woods retirement fund) have gotten underway with an interesting tournament at the Barclays in Harrison, N.Y. I’ve got to say that watching the event on TV, the most noticeable pictures were those featuring very few people in the galleries.

Granted, this may have been by design. Barclays could have planned this as a customer outing and limited ticket sales. Also, as wonderful a golf course as Westchester CC is, it is a good course on which to play golf—not watch golf. I can’t believe New York golf fans stayed away because Tiger didn’t show. After all hey had their fan fave, Phil Mickelson there, who be the way, played the best since his wrist injury. He tied for seventh at -11. A healthy Mickelson may present a challenge for Woods which can only lend some semblance of legitimacy to this playoff system.

By the way, I’ll never understand the synergy between Mickelson and the New Yorkers. Granted, I may have a slanted view of the people from the eastern section of the Empire State since I’m from the Boston area and somewhat a Red Sox loyalist, but I just don’t get it. Philly Mick is slick west coast, usually the antithesis of New York. Hefty being popular in New York has the same probability as Mike Vick being a guest judge at the Westchester Kennel Club Dog Show.

I still can’t wait until the awards ceremony after the Tour Championship when PGA Tour Commish Tim Finchem presents the FedEx playoff winner the phony $10 million check (phony because it’s deferred and will be worth more—read below) and then gives the Tour Championship winner an “oh by the way” with a check for $1.26 million. That should be entertaining.

There has been an undercurrent of disenchantment among some of the PGA Tour pros about the deferred money. They want their $10 mill NOW. I’ll bet Tiger and Phil haven’t thought this one through.

The $10 mill goes into the grossly bloated player’s pension account and isn’t available until he reaches 45. As long as the player plays a minimum of 15 events a year, he can defer the payments until age 60 when the payments automatically begin.

Let’s say Tiger wins (there’s a stretch) and the money returns 8 percent a year. If he starts collecting at 45, he’ll have $29.4 million to ease his way towards social security. Lefty is seven years older and his take will be a mere $18.5 million—still enough for a few football bets every Fall.

What if someone like 25-year old Hunter Mahan gets hot? The 8 percent will give him a $46.6 million cushion. Let’s have a little fun with this and the compounded interest blows up to 12 percent. At 55, Mahan will be sitting on $299.6 million…and some of those guys want their $10 million now. The only legitimate argument I’ve heard has been, what if the player wants to give his caddie the 10 percent tip? A good question, but a lot of the top players can just write a seven-figure check.

Meanwhile aging writers have found a way to answer the FedEx Cup winner’s windfall. Our pension plan involves investing five bucks a week in the state lottery.

While we’re speaking about big money, let’s look in on the never-ending saga of Greg and Laura Norman. Their divorce has gotten nastier. It seems the soon-to-be Mrs. Norman not only turned down $100 million; she’s said “no” to $250 million, plus a new house in Palm Beach and a summer home in the Hamptons as well as her legal fees in this breakup. That’s a pretty large “NO.” It seems there was a hook attached to the $250 million—she would have to sign a confidentiality contract where she could not complain about her marriage anytime in the future. For $250 million, I’d catch a quick case of total amnesia and forget I was ever married. Heck, I’ve almost done that for nothing.

I’ve got admit that I am curious. What could she say publicly that would be worth $250 million for her silence? Inquiring minds want to know. By the way, we now know why Sharkie isn’t playing the Champions Tour—he’s making way too much money to go out and get trimmed by guys he used to beat by 10 shots a week.

I think this week; we should remember better days for the Normans and have the sommelier break out a bottle from the Greg Norman vineyards and make it one of the good ones, not the one with a twist off cap. Bartender, put away that plastic cup and pour us a couple of glasses of Greg Norman Estates Cabernet Merlot Coonawara and make that a 1996 vintage please and in your finest stemware if you will.

Cheerio mates! Remember the better days.

See you on the first tee.

Jack O'Leary

Back with a vengeance

Don’t pay the ransom—I escaped!!

I know it’s been a while since we last met, but I’ve been around and about for the past month, or so on business that included a trip to northwest Ireland for a week for a golf travel article I’m writing (really, it was for work). However, I have been watching what’s going on and I firmly believe there was so much more than the obvious.

Having been in Ireland during the World Cup when the country literally shut down as their boys played a quarterfinal match, Padraig Harrington’s feat was HUGE news in Ireland. When Harrington holed out on the fourth playoff hole to win the Claret Jug, he became the first Irishman to win the Open Championship since Fred Daly in 1947. Having already won the Irish Open earlier in the year, Harrington sealed his fate as a bona fide hero of every sports fan in the country for the rest of his life. There’s U2 and Padraig Harrington—Bono and Paddy. Dear God, please don’t let Paddy with his Dublin nasal twang try to sing.

Out of Harrington’s win came a very telling look at Sergio. Harrington was making an absolute mess of the 72nd hole. The air of Jean Van de Velde had sucked him in. However, as he stood over his fifth shot from under 100 yards, his thoughts weren’t about what he’d just done, they were about how was he going to win.

Following Harrington’s double bogey, all Garcia needed was a par 4 on the last to finally eject the major monkey from his back. He missed the green in two (as almost the rest of the world had done), chipped to eight feet and rolled his putt over the left edge of the cup forcing a four-hole playoff.

Harrington birdied the first extra hole to Garcia’s bogey and it was game set and match. After the playoff Garcia whined about hitting every shot perfectly and not winning and that it always happens to him.

The truth is, it will always happen to him, if he allows every bad bounce or poor shot get to him. My advice to Sergio (not that he needs it) is to take all those second place checks and buy the biggest cheese wheel you can find because you’re going to need a lot of cheese to go with all the whine your attitude is going to ferment. Remember the second place finisher is just the first loser.

Back over to the west side of the pond. Tiger, the golfer formerly known as Eldrick, Woods overwhelmed the field in the WGC Bridgestone Championship at Firestone—again. He then gave a “How to win a major” clinic at Southern Hills in Tulsa, OK—again.

Pardon me while I digress. I’ve twice visited Oklahoma and I have to say one thing about it—it’s not OK. It’s not so-so. It’s so bad. If you noticed while watching a very entertaining PGA Championship on TV, no one spoke about the beauty of Southern Hills—because there was none. You can’t find aesthetics in Oklahoma. If you asked your basic Sooner if Oklahoma has any aesthetics, the answer would be, “They all got football, basketball and maybe baseball, y’all”. If you want the worst climate in the world, just visit Oklahoma. It’s blistering hot in the summer, freezing, and snow blown in the winter. The only time Oklahoma looks good is in the rear view mirror. I’ve got to believe that the early Oklahoma settlers were sentenced there for some heinous crime. Who’d volunteer to settle there?

That aside, from the ashes of Wood’s trail blaze through the field to defend his PGA title rose Woody Austin. Old Woody has kicked around for a while. He’s 43-years old and shows the scars of a journeyman’s career. Okay, so the scars are bandaged in almost $11 million in prize money.

Woody showed guts and determination, particularly on Sunday when he shot a wonder 3-under par 67, but alas Tiger started the day with a four shot lead and finished with a 69. Unlike Garcia who descended to second place, Austin rose to it.

The world could have become Austin’s oyster. He endeared himself to the crowds. He started to win over the press until he got carried away and started to chastise the media. He remarked about how when Tiger misses a shot he bangs his club on the ground and it’s called his competitive fire and when he does it, he’s a loosed cannon. Austin’s claim was it was because Woods is a better player with a better record than his is.

Woody’s dead wrong about that one. You won’t find a film clip of Tiger missing a short putt and then walking off the green banging himself on the side of his head with his putter shaft so hard that he bent it and had to take the offending flat stick out of play. With every missed shot by Austin, there’s a chance of Vesuvian event—with Tiger, there’s a good chance for a birdie. I wish Woody would have had fun with it because he’s a good guy.

It would be criminal to omit the contributions of Boo Weekley to these two events. At Carnoustie, when asked if he knew of the history that had transpired there, he had a bit of a blank look. “I’m not good at history,” he said, “but it was fun learning about Paul Lawrie winning here and about Ben whoever that was (Hogan).”

I’ve got to believe that part of Weekley’s act is just that—an act, but based in truth. Good for the PGA Tour, they now have their own Larry the Cable Guy.

A few words about the northwest of Ireland. This part of the country features spectacularly rugged terrain with links courses the equal of just about all in the entire country at half the price. Clifden, Donegal and the like feature people and atmosphere second to none in this most hospitable country.

Having said that, I might warn you about the Clarion Sligo Hotel. It is a recently renovated mental institution. When you check in, they give you a print out of directions to your room. It’s two pages. It was literally a maze without any of Sergio’s cheese at the end. The question begged to be asked and we did.

“Why the difficulty getting from the desk to our rooms?” The answer was way too logical. “Well sir, if it were too easy, the former residents would have been able to escape,” said an assistant manager. “Now sir did you have a problem?” Hmm. Well it was a long way to the frontal lobotomy unit and a longer way back.

Sorry, but I ran out of toasts in the Castle Pub in Donegal.

By the way bartender, don’t pour me another one. I’m on the dry until the Smithwicks finishes coursing through my veins.

See you on the first tee.

Jack O’Leary

U.S. Open, Tiger's Cub

It’s been an interesting couple of weeks since we last chatted. An Argentinean won the US Open. Tiger and Elin had a cub. Phil and Michelle are on the DL and that old cutup John Daly was almost cut up.
First, it’s amazing that every once in a while golf provides the setting for a great story and few can match the US Open win by Angel Cabrera. Most Americans can only imagine what it was like for him as a youth. He had to quit school after elementary school to earn money to help feed the family. Golf is fortunate that he chose caddying as his work.
Granted, Cabrera had a lot of help along the way. Eduardo Romero helped back him financially when everyone noticed that he had undeniable ability. Romero was his guide when he first joined the European Tour. When Cabrera finished his fourth round of the U.S. Open, the first call he received was from Romero.
One of the first things you notice about Cabrera, right after the 397-yard drives, is his genuine humility. When he said he was humbled by winning the U.S. Open, you have to believe him. Hopefully, he’ll never change. Hopefully, he’ll go on to emulate one of his countrymen, Roberto DiVicenzo one of the greatest gentlemen ever to play golf.
Okay, call me a skeptic, a cynic, or whatever and I hope Sam Alexis Woods has a long, healthy life. God knows it will be prosperous. It seems a little strange to me that she wasn’t due until next month. Let’s see, what does Tiger have going on during the next month? There’s next week’s Buick Championship in Michigan. Tiger has a personal services contract with…Buick. What’s next? Oh, that’s right; Tiger has his own PGA Tour event in Washington D.C. during the first week in July that will benefit the Tiger Woods Foundation. This you’ll remember was supposed to be the week of the International, but Tiger single-handedly killed the tournament by refusing to play in it and thus making it impossible to get a corporate sponsor.
Then, of course comes the Open Championship, as in British Open where Tiger is the defending champion. As you can see, there was just so much to do and so little time to do these things. If you might want to deduce an inducement here, well, that’s up to you.
Philly Mick and the Big Wiesy have got to be careful. Hefty hurt his wrist in a practice round at Oakmont, a week prior to the Open. Then he tried to play. To his credit, he survived 36 holes and missed being invited back for the 37th by a shot. Instead of just walking away, he had to make one last comment.
He accused the USGA of trying to end his and other careers by making the rough so thick. Usually, I’m in Phil’s corner on a lot of things, but not this one. The plain truth is he shouldn’t have tried to play at all. As a result, he—not the USGA, placed his career in jeopardy. He’s been advised not to touch a club for at least two weeks. I’d be surprised if he returns to form this year. Now I guess I understand a little bit why he’s not the most popular player with his colleagues.
Wie has been the subject of blanket criticism for her quitting on the 16th hole in the opening round of the Ginn Invitational. She blamed her aching wrist. The truth is, if she shot 88, she couldn’t play any LPGA events for the rest of the year. She was definitely headed there. So, she quit.
Evidently, it was a short-term thing because she was on the range that weekend at the site of the McDonald’s Championship that she was in the following week. The truth is, the girl can’t break par and hasn’t for 28 rounds. At least she withdrew from the PGA Tour John Deere Classic citing a lack of strength in her wrists. This is the first smart thing Team Wie has done maybe ever.
File Hefty and the Brat under wrist-reward.
Trust me on this John Daly is a great guy. However, as Fuzzy Zoeller once said, “Find me the craziest woman in the world and I’ll introduce you to John’s next wife.”
This time, it’s dangerous. He got away with just having his face scratched. The next time, he just might get killed. JD isn’t going to practice celibacy anytime soon, but just maybe, he might be a tad selective. Cruising the psycho wards of America hasn’t worked out very well.
In honor of the new U.S. Open champion crack open a cold cerveza and say
Angel, salud y amor y tiempo para disfrutarlo.

See you on the first tee,

Jack O’Leary

PGA Tour schedule woes

The massive overhaul the boys in Ponte Vedra Beach gave the PGA Tour schedule is wreaking havoc for the tournament sponsors. Even Jack Nicklaus couldn’t entice Phil Mickelson to play in his Memorial Tournament. The Colonial drew two of the top 20; Jim Furyk (3) and Trevor Immelman (14) are it.
Originally, it was thought that the only casualty was going to be the International and their modified Stableford system that brought relief to the same old—same old. They folded their tent because they could never get Tiger Woods to play. The next day, the Tour awarded the AT&T Championship to Tiger, of all people. Imagine that!
Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem calling upon the wisdom of the ages lined up Fed Ex to sponsor a points race with a $10-million first prize. This is supposed to emulate NASCAR’s “Race to the Chase.” Thus far, no one’s buying it. The idea was to make the better players play more during the season. As the Tour has found out, the top players will never have to worry about making the final field, so they’re actually playing less. They’re saving themselves for the chase—a four tournament series where the player with the most points wins the $10M. Well, almost, you see; it’s a 10-year annuity of a million a year for a decade.
We think Rich Beem’s summation of the Fed Ex Cup says it all. “I really hope that someday a kid is standing over a putt on the practice green and says, ‘this one is for the Fed Ex Cup.’ I’ve got agree with Beemer.
By the way, if you said Tiger and Phil are one-two in the standings, I’ll bet a sleeve of scuffed range balls; you can’t tell me who ranks fourth as of 5-24-07. (Answer below).

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It looks like the PGA Tour is turning into a cross between a reality show and a soap opera. It’s been a bad stretch for the Norman clan. First, eldest daughter Morgan-Leigh and Sergio Garcia ended their whirlwind romance. Then Greg and tennis great Chris Evert visited Splitsville as Greg claimed they were “just friends helping each other through a divorce.”

We remember when Greg was blown out of the 1986 PGA Championship when Bob Tway holed out from a greenside bunker on the 72nd hole. He had just recently cashed a huge check when Cobra was taken over by Acushnet (Titleist). When asked about how he felt with yet another disappointment, the reply was, “When you’ve got the $42M, you’ve got the $42M.”

Today he has more than doubled that amount (minus what ex-wife Laura was awarded). He doesn’t play much golf anymore, but he has his money to keep him warm.

Let’s see, Adam Scott is on the short list of tennis star Maria Sharapova. Judging by her picture spread in the SI swimsuit issue, too much of that stuff and he’ll never make a 3-foot putt again.

Evidently, the PGA Tour has been targeted by female tennis stars. If you follow Hank Kuehne during a round, say hello to Venus Williams. The long-hitting Texan and perhaps the most physically powerful female in tennis are an item. They could start a mixed doubles arm wrestling tournament—and win—hands down! (Ouch, I didn’t type that, did I?)

Who is Ryo Ishikawa and why would we care? Well, in the oft rain-delayed Munsingwear KSB Cup, Ishikawa San became the youngest winner on the Japanese men’s Tour. He fired 69-65 on Sunday for a one-stroke win. That’s not bad for lad who has spent 15 years, eight months on this planet. He beat out Seve Ballesteros by a mere four years and 11 months. Rumor has it that Seve has called for a ruling.

Here’s an interesting note on Jack Nicklaus. When asked if he had one round to play, which course would it be. Pebble Beach was the answer. When asked what his favorite courses to play in competition are, the answer was simple. “Augusta National and St. Andrews are tied, followed by Muirfield and Pinehurst No. 2,” answered the Golden Bear. Interesting, considering that Nicklaus has designed hundreds of courses himself. While there may be one or a dozen of his tracks that he has true affection for, he has more respect for the developers who shelled out a million-plus for one of his designs.

Imagine paying out seven figures to Nicklaus and he not thinking it was one of his favorites. Smart move; remember if anyone asks you about your favorite course, you’ll never go wrong with Pebble, Augusta and Pinehurst. It doesn’t matter if you’ve never played them, all that was asked was, what are your favorite courses? Your golf stud rating will soar!

Oh, who is fourth in the Fed Ex points race? Charles (don’t call me Thurston) Howell III

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One last note. Word has it that Tiger has beseeched the powers that will run his AT&T Championship to cut back the numbers of amateurs in each Pro-Am group from four to three. At three grand a clip, that’s in the vicinity of $200,000 less for charity. This is a prime example of cutting off one’s nose to spite one’s face since the Tiger Woods Foundation is a major beneficiary of the event.

Mr. Bartender, if you please mate, get me a nice bottle of Limestone Coast Shiraz from the Greg Norman Estates and pour me another. When you’ve got the vineyard—you’ve got the vineyard. Know what I mean.

Cherio,


Jack